Lacrosse summer league is so relaxed. 
Twice a week all summer, young men show up to play summer lacrosse.
And parents come to watch . . . OK, and to talk. These warm summer evenings of summer league feel something like the early days of t-ball, when our young men were, for the first time, experiencing 'the field' and all it has to offer. It doesn't really matter who wins, so no one actually keeps score. There is often vicious scrambling over a ball or a goal or ground not yielded. Summer ball for parents is more about finding a shady spot to talk and watch. For me, I just like to be on the premises when there are young men, extreme heat, and lots of beating on each other with sticks. Just sayin'.For the boys - it's serious, intense competition with mortal enemies. It's also laughing and talking, and joking around on the sidelines. Boys, balls, sticks, water bottles in a shady spot on a warm summer evening. What's not to like about that?
When next we line up for lacrosse, there will be nothing relaxed and little joking. This is a serious and fierce state championship team. So, before lacrosse summer league fades... consider what we saw at the field, and who we saw at the field. 
Summer lax starts and ends like this: a bunch of guys slinging lacrosse gear all over the track. Fans wandering around in the sparsely populated stands. Looking for shade. In the summer, younger sibs can run up and down the stairs, climb on the seats, crawl in and out the rails. The stands won't be sparsely populated in a month, so the youngest do all that clambering in another place.
Get into the right shoes. And make some jokes about something.
J-Rut is working the elbow pads. We'll see lots of these boys in heavier and hotter football pads, in about a month. The heat will still be oppressive and muggy.
Everyone who shows up to play summer lacrosse begins by lining up midfield. Guys come from different schools. One day you may play against a guy you play with the rest of the year. Another day ... same team with a brother who is your enemy the rest of the year. Every time the teams are different. There is NO LOYALTY in summer league.
When you get to wear a red COACH shirt, like Coach Ron here, you get to tell people what to do and where to play and who is on what team. Also, whether you wear the blue side or the white side of the jersey. Occcasionally he yells all that. "Yell" is the operative word.
The playing starts. Just so you know, it's really, really hot.
Summer lax starts and ends like this: a bunch of guys slinging lacrosse gear all over the track. Fans wandering around in the sparsely populated stands. Looking for shade. In the summer, younger sibs can run up and down the stairs, climb on the seats, crawl in and out the rails. The stands won't be sparsely populated in a month, so the youngest do all that clambering in another place.Get into the right shoes. And make some jokes about something.J-Rut is working the elbow pads. We'll see lots of these boys in heavier and hotter football pads, in about a month. The heat will still be oppressive and muggy.Everyone who shows up to play summer lacrosse begins by lining up midfield. Guys come from different schools. One day you may play against a guy you play with the rest of the year. Another day ... same team with a brother who is your enemy the rest of the year. Every time the teams are different. There is NO LOYALTY in summer league.When you get to wear a red COACH shirt, like Coach Ron here, you get to tell people what to do and where to play and who is on what team. Also, whether you wear the blue side or the white side of the jersey. Occcasionally he yells all that. "Yell" is the operative word. The playing starts. Just so you know, it's really, really hot.Lucky for everyone, there is an easy way to get a drink of water, and also to spray other people . Those things are called A-frames, they are attached to a regular hose, and have many nozzles on each one, so several boys can get a drink at the same time. Also, spray themselves on the head to cool down. Also spray some unsuspecting guy and start a water fight. OR, just get a drink of water. Boys and water hoses, boys with balls and sticks, boys driving around on Gators. Boys and their toys. 
And...... boys and their phones.
And...... boys and their phones.
Well, moms and phones, too.
A little time for conversation. Always.
And for watching the action.
Mr. T. is always there. His son, Big Russ, can be full of suprises.
What is Big Russ doing HERE, playing goalie?
Doing this? He doesn't play with that kind of stick, usually.
Big Russ is supposed to be down here, doing this.The relaxed pace of summer league lacrosse is over. Football . . . the early morning summer work-out phase . . . yields to the football all-day phase. And then school starts, so football + school = Total Physical Exhaustion. When next we see these stands and this field, sorry - turf, it will be intense and loud, and fiercely competitive. It will still be seriously hot. So more squirting water at each other and riding around the Gator.
Different line up.
Same friends.
Showing up is another of the cornerstones of my parenting philosophy, and will be huge when I write my HOW-TO PARENT book. I didn’t know I had a "parenting philosophy" until the other day when I considered Total Physical Exhaustion. Our Young Son (who wants a snappier moniker) is almost of driving age, the youngest of our brood, so I have a little bit of experience. (Someday, I will divulge the secret of extricating your kid from a busted party before the authorities make it official that he or she was there.)
These parents are good examples of people who have showed up. Wonder why? Oh...the bus to the beach. At 5:30.
First, as your children know, most of the stuff you have to show up for is inherently boring. Showing up is not for your entertainment. (I personally take a crossword puzzle.) 
But I DO know that when we do make an appearance, it heads off any idle chatter . And if we ARE there, we can HEAR the gossip. About us.
Another reason to show up is that you can actually talk to your kids about what went on in those little sideline chat-groups. It’s interminably boring to try to pry the information from their tight little lips.
"What were you and Stargazer talking about that was so funny?"
"Who where you and Shinsplints texting during the never-ending speeches?” If you were NOT there, your questions are 
Another reason is to show up is because they might get conked on the head, or fall of the stage, or break an ankle or something, and another "adult" will decide whether or not to call the ambulance. Please obey the ‘no moms on the field' rule, which is actually 'MOM, don’t even think about moving if I go down' rule. Only if they start calling for a doctor can you twitch your eye. Should your kid go down, even if it’s only for a minute, the whole body of parents starts craning their necks to see where you are. I am usually doing a crossword puzzle, and don’t know there’s a problem until it’s resolved. But I was there, dammit.
If it’s something like a 4 hour awards ceremony, at which your child is not getting an award, the benefit is obvious. You can commiserate about how boring it was. “Was it just me, or did Ethel Haystack’s name get called 86% of the time?” And you can bet Ethel’s parents aren't even there.
Also, you can notice who has a new tattoo. . .
or piercing, or who has braces ON or braces OFF, or a new purple streak in their hair, or whose mom has been visiting Dr. Chester Emplante and Nurse Beaux Toxicicity.
The coach doesn't know what parents are there and who's not there, so there's no brownie points to be gained or lost. These moms must be looking for someone who's 'on the way" because they're looking at the parking lot. I told you to expect some boredom.
Repeat after me: "If you are there, people are less likely to talk about you." Of course, this mom showed up at her daughter's ENGAGEMENT party, so everyone was talking about them anyway.
They could be planning a trip or something. Or their child's future. 
You must be there to take pictures. Especially these stalker type pictures.
BUT, you are still saying to yourself that it doesn’t really matter if you're there. I have this conversation with myself EVERY SINGLE TIME. WHY do I have to go to the awards program? one more swim meet? the parents prayer meeting? Why? It’s hot, I’m tired, I’m busy….OK, It’s BORING.I have been going to these things for 20 years. Not kidding, 20 years. They are always the same. You are RIGHT. I am RIGHT. It doesn’t matter to most people, honestly it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter to me if you miss the tennis match. Or art show. Or the last day of camp awards. It doesn’t matter to me, or the teachers, or the coaches or most of the other parents.
But it DOES matter to your son or daughter, or both, even if they act like they don't even remotely know you or have any tenuous connection to them.
They stand around and talk to each other, while holding the big sticks, and wearing the fierce looking uniforms. Not 'fierce' like Project Runway; 'fierce' like big and mean looking. 
When the game is over, they are very sweaty, but smiling. Happy boys have just played lacrosse and had fun. This must have been a HOT day, look at those shirts. But they are smiling because they prepared for the game by eating a high protein diet all day, drinking plenty of fluids all day long, generally preparing their young and agile physiques for the task at hand. They prepared well and did not faint. They played a good many games, ended up looking this happy many times, and the varsity team won the state championship. Then they had a party.
Here's Young Son watching the varsity celebrate the victory with his friend, Big Russ. Watching is the operative word. Non-varsity did not participate visibly in the celebratory events at the party. I don't think they even ate protein. Not so smiley, this night, were they? They watched. AND, I thought it was over.
Of course, the standing in the field, holding the big sticks. 
And some running around with the sticks... and of course the whacking.
And the talking...and intense game-watching. In summer league there are neither set teams, nor uniforms. It's somewhow more summerish.
But what's this? Young Son is sitting down? On the table? Red face?
Big Russ is taking a break too. Not to worry. Everyone is hot tonight. Also the talking. 
Big Russ is on his feet. Evidently some compelling summer lax action....that did NOT cause Young Son to rise to the occasion. 
Pretty Pretty Princess and her friend Stargazer....did not notice a thing. 
