Lacrosse farewell .... on to football

Lacrosse summer league is so relaxed. Twice a week all summer, young men show up to play summer lacrosse.And parents come to watch . . . OK, and to talk. These warm summer evenings of summer league feel something like the early days of t-ball, when our young men were, for the first time, experiencing 'the field' and all it has to offer. It doesn't really matter who wins, so no one actually keeps score. There is often vicious scrambling over a ball or a goal or ground not yielded. Summer ball for parents is more about finding a shady spot to talk and watch. For me, I just like to be on the premises when there are young men, extreme heat, and lots of beating on each other with sticks. Just sayin'.

For the boys - it's serious, intense competition with mortal enemies. It's also laughing and talking, and joking around on the sidelines. Boys, balls, sticks, water bottles in a shady spot on a warm summer evening. What's not to like about that?

When next we line up for lacrosse, there will be nothing relaxed and little joking. This is a serious and fierce state championship team. So, before lacrosse summer league fades... consider what we saw at the field, and who we saw at the field. Summer lax starts and ends like this: a bunch of guys slinging lacrosse gear all over the track. Fans wandering around in the sparsely populated stands. Looking for shade. In the summer, younger sibs can run up and down the stairs, climb on the seats, crawl in and out the rails. The stands won't be sparsely populated in a month, so the youngest do all that clambering in another place.Get into the right shoes. And make some jokes about something.
J-Rut is working the elbow pads. We'll see lots of these boys in heavier and hotter football pads, in about a month. The heat will still be oppressive and muggy.
Everyone who shows up to play summer lacrosse begins by lining up midfield. Guys come from different schools. One day you may play against a guy you play with the rest of the year. Another day ... same team with a brother who is your enemy the rest of the year. Every time the teams are different. There is NO LOYALTY in summer league.When you get to wear a red COACH shirt, like Coach Ron here, you get to tell people what to do and where to play and who is on what team. Also, whether you wear the blue side or the white side of the jersey. Occcasionally he yells all that. "Yell" is the operative word. The playing starts. Just so you know, it's really, really hot.

Lucky for everyone, there is an easy way to get a drink of water, and also to spray other people . Those things are called A-frames, they are attached to a regular hose, and have many nozzles on each one, so several boys can get a drink at the same time. Also, spray themselves on the head to cool down. Also spray some unsuspecting guy and start a water fight. OR, just get a drink of water. Boys and water hoses, boys with balls and sticks, boys driving around on Gators. Boys and their toys. And...... boys and their phones.

Well, moms and phones, too.A little time for conversation. Always.And for watching the action.Mr. T. is always there. His son, Big Russ, can be full of suprises.What is Big Russ doing HERE, playing goalie?Doing this? He doesn't play with that kind of stick, usually.Big Russ is supposed to be down here, doing this.

The relaxed pace of summer league lacrosse is over. Football . . . the early morning summer work-out phase . . . yields to the football all-day phase. And then school starts, so football + school = Total Physical Exhaustion. When next we see these stands and this field, sorry - turf, it will be intense and loud, and fiercely competitive. It will still be seriously hot. So more squirting water at each other and riding around the Gator.

Different line up.

Different uniforms.

Same friends.

Return from Mexico - the Parking Lot

I know that look. I saw that look in carpool line after a long hard morning in Junior Kindergarten. I saw that look when she caught sight of us in the audience for MayDay dance thing in second grade. I saw that look at the end of Kamp. I've seen that look at the end of a long night out with friends, or after a really hard exam. It's the look that says "MOMMEEEEE!"


After 11 days on a trip to Mexico for PPP and her pals, everyone's glad to get out of the vans and find someone to say "welcome home!" So...WELCOME HOME, friends!So.... Matty's wondering, is MINE out there?
Indeed she is. Let's see who else is in this hot parking lot . . .Hey girls! Seeing some signs of tired....yes, tired it is.So, all the lax girls are accounted for. Nobody's wasting time getting back to the world of text messaging. Is it just me, or is MJ wearing a sweatshirt? It was a solid 110 degrees on that parking lot.Little Bear is looking happier. No fierce glare for the camera? We spend some serious time milling around in this parking lot. Is that tired and happy? Tired and relieved? Tired and more tired? Thanks, guys.Here's another happy Mama! Conversation with eye contact, tooI KNOW she's looking to make sure the Passport is in there. So, Little Bear has stories to tell our Young Son. Football workout in the morning, Little Bear? Right...sure...absolutely. Not.Even the Pretty Pretty Princess gets tired. Total Physical Exhaustion, Princess style.

Parenting Tips - SHOW UP!

If you want to be a good mother, all you have to do is show up. Well, probably not ALL, but it's a big part. Some claim that 90% of success is simply showing up. So, good mother, father, sibling, friend, body-slave, foot-washer...you get it. Just show up. Showing up is another of the cornerstones of my parenting philosophy, and will be huge when I write my HOW-TO PARENT book. I didn’t know I had a "parenting philosophy" until the other day when I considered Total Physical Exhaustion. Our Young Son (who wants a snappier moniker) is almost of driving age, the youngest of our brood, so I have a little bit of experience. (Someday, I will divulge the secret of extricating your kid from a busted party before the authorities make it official that he or she was there.)

Experience does not always equal success, but let's just go with this for a bit, shall we?

I Googled the "90% is showing up" phrase, and its variations , rather than inadvertantly plagiarize, which is a crime. I found a LOT of articles about parents not showing up for parent teacher conferences. You should do that. Take it from me, I've had plenty of them.

The next parenting cornerstone, after Total Physical Exhuastion (the best thing ever) is SHOW UP. Simply show up at the programs, show up at the games, show up at the recitals, at the field trip, the birthday party, home for dinner. Just BE THERE!

Pause here, you parents of the little ones - you must think I'm crazy. You LOVE the adorable music program where your firstborn dresses up like a bee and sings three songs with vague hand motions. Or the mighty-mite soccer game, where precious children pick clover wearing little bitty shin guards. Take pictures and make videos. Enjoy the shortness of the event. Get back to me in a few years...or 367 games, whichever comes first.These parents are good examples of people who have showed up. Wonder why? Oh...the bus to the beach. At 5:30.First, as your children know, most of the stuff you have to show up for is inherently boring. Showing up is not for your entertainment. (I personally take a crossword puzzle.)

Showing up is the single best way you can tell your kid that what he or she is doing is more important that what you might be doing. Don’t give me any backtalk about a multi-million $$$ global deal or possibly brain surgery being more important than a 6th grade flute recital. At the moment of the flute recital, the global deal is paltry and the brain surgery can happen tomorrow.

Don’t limit showing up to the big stuff - I mean seriously, everyone goes to graduation. Did you go to the 8th grade science fair? You simply must show up for the boring and pointless stuff. Nobody wants to be the ONLY kid whose parents didn’t bother to come to Meet the Teacher Day, which seems really big when you are not yet really big.

BigD works in a town other than the one we live in, so he’s not here a lot. He, in effect has a huge PASS on showing up. But when he’s here, he HAS TO SHOW UP. Thus, we were breathing diesel fumes and watching the sunrise in the parking lot at 5:30 am when our young ones went to the beach. Common sense would say it takes only one really sleepy parent to take 2 teenagers to a church parking lot. NOT SO. Not only did we show up, we showed up together. People may think my children are poor little orphan children. Maybe pitiful latchkey children, whose parents never come home from their fabulous careers. Many think I am an impoverished single mother, who scrubs floors by night and waits tables by day…..OK, I don’t know what they think. (also, don't care). But I DO know that when we do make an appearance, it heads off any idle chatter . And if we ARE there, we can HEAR the gossip. About us.Another reason to show up is that you can actually talk to your kids about what went on in those little sideline chat-groups. It’s interminably boring to try to pry the information from their tight little lips."What were you and Stargazer talking about that was so funny?""Who where you and Shinsplints texting during the never-ending speeches?” If you were NOT there, your questions are

• “Who did you see there?” the answer is always NOBODY.
  
• “What did you have to eat?” NOTHING
  
• “Who did you gossip about while whispering and laughing?” WE WEREN’T LAUGHING.


• “Did you see Mr X, did he look cute?” STOP IT, MOM.
  

See, it works better when you are actually there.Another reason is to show up is because they might get conked on the head, or fall of the stage, or break an ankle or something, and another "adult" will decide whether or not to call the ambulance. Please obey the ‘no moms on the field' rule, which is actually 'MOM, don’t even think about moving if I go down' rule. Only if they start calling for a doctor can you twitch your eye. Should your kid go down, even if it’s only for a minute, the whole body of parents starts craning their necks to see where you are. I am usually doing a crossword puzzle, and don’t know there’s a problem until it’s resolved. But I was there, dammit.If it’s something like a 4 hour awards ceremony, at which your child is not getting an award, the benefit is obvious. You can commiserate about how boring it was. “Was it just me, or did Ethel Haystack’s name get called 86% of the time?” And you can bet Ethel’s parents aren't even there.Also, you can notice who has a new tattoo. . .or piercing, or who has braces ON or braces OFF, or a new purple streak in their hair, or whose mom has been visiting Dr. Chester Emplante and Nurse Beaux Toxicicity.

The coach doesn't know what parents are there and who's not there, so there's no brownie points to be gained or lost. These moms must be looking for someone who's 'on the way" because they're looking at the parking lot. I told you to expect some boredom.Repeat after me: "If you are there, people are less likely to talk about you." Of course, this mom showed up at her daughter's ENGAGEMENT party, so everyone was talking about them anyway.They could be planning a trip or something. Or their child's future. You must be there to take pictures. Especially these stalker type pictures.

Lots of time to talk about all the kids. Find out who has been invited to what party, accepted at what college, dating so-and-so, what anything. OK…it’s a good place to pick up gossip. But I didn’t tell you.BUT, you are still saying to yourself that it doesn’t really matter if you're there. I have this conversation with myself EVERY SINGLE TIME. WHY do I have to go to the awards program? one more swim meet? the parents prayer meeting? Why? It’s hot, I’m tired, I’m busy….OK, It’s BORING.I have been going to these things for 20 years. Not kidding, 20 years. They are always the same. You are RIGHT. I am RIGHT. It doesn’t matter to most people, honestly it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter to me if you miss the tennis match. Or art show. Or the last day of camp awards. It doesn’t matter to me, or the teachers, or the coaches or most of the other parents.But it DOES matter to your son or daughter, or both, even if they act like they don't even remotely know you or have any tenuous connection to them.

So…just SHOW UP.

We try to get a grandparent there too, if possible. Or a sibling. Double points.